Just a drop
by davjay361
Summary: James bit my arm and they sucked out the venom. The problem was no one had ever tried that before. When you bite someone you either turn them or drain them. So stopping the change by sucking out the venom should work right. Nope it only takes a drop.
1. Chapter 1

**AN- Twilight and the characters are owned by Stephanie Meyer, I don't own anything**

My name is Bella Denali nee Swan. I am nineteen years old and will always be nineteen because I am a vampire. Well nearly a vampire would be more accurate, as my heart is still beating. Only a beat a minute but that's still beating in my book. Carlisle my adoptive father says that it will stop very soon. I will by all human definitions be dead and technically a vampire, although I will always be different. This I will cover later, as it is part of the whole process I am going through. I am happy to be a vampire. Ever since I worked out what the Cullen's were I have wanted to be one. There was a brief period after my eighteenth birthday that I didn't think this would happen or if I really wanted it. My boyfriend had left me with his family and I wanted to die but fate stepped in and here I am on the verge of becoming what I was born to be.

Carlisle has asked me to record my memories of the change. How I felt, my experiences with a changing body and basically how I have coped. You see I am different to all other vampires. A normal change takes approximately three days and is extremely painful. You feel like the flames of hell are running through you veins. Mine has taken nearly two years and I have experienced no pain at all. Well nothing but the headaches which, if I hadn't briefly already experienced the burning, would have most humans thinking it was hell on earth. Those were more to do with my powers and if I hadn't had it then I would not have experienced any pain at all. I think they were the first time I thought something was really wrong with me but at the time I had no idea what it was. Still Carlisle is bemused at the lack of pain. In fact the only sign of the burning I have shown is a raised temperature. This was about the same as one of the shifters on the reservation. More about them later on as they play a part in my story. Now I am about the same temp as any vampire. Don't get me wrong the absence of pain hasn't made this easy. The raised temperature and several other things have been rather uncomfortable and in some cases confusing. This is the reason I am writing this down, recording it for posterity so to speak. Its good therapy apparently.

Now if I think about it the first thing that was different was my broken leg. I had received the broken leg from a vampire called James, he also bit me at the time and that is the reason behind my change. He had come across me while I was with the Cullen's. They were playing baseball in the middle of a storm (they are vampires with super speed, strength and senses; they need the storm to cover the noise). Three nomads had heard them playing and come to investigate. One of these nomads was James, the others were Laurent and Victoria his mate. After a brief confrontation between them and the Cullen's they had left. Unfortunately James was a tracker and I had become a challenge because of the protection from the Cullen's I fled Forks with Alice and Jasper to Phoenix while the others lead the false trail. Apparently it had worked for a while, Laurent managed to get himself killed by going into claimed territory, but James and Victoria sussed the ruse. James with the help of Victoria had tracked us to Phoenix and lured me alone to my old dance studio by threatening the life of my mother. He had broken my leg by the time my boyfriend Edward caught up with us. During the fight he managed to bite me. After Edward and the rest of Cullen's defeated him, Edward proceeded to suck out the Venom.

The thing that no one knew at the time is that once bitten the change is inevitable. It takes just a drop in the blood stream and you will turn. As most vampire's see humans as food and drain them breaking the preys neck in the process, none of the Cullen's or any other vampire would know sucking the venom out will not work A vampire sucking out the venom and not killing the human, has never happened before as far as Carlisle has heard. For Edward to manage this is a testament to his control and remaining humanity, after all my blood is so attractive to him. I could almost forgive him for his actions for that if I didn't know that there was an ulterior motive for his actions. Plus I suspect the rest of the Cullen's pulled him away, I have never asked, I have no pressing need to find out.

Unfortunately though, it is not possible to suck all the venom out without killing the human, so catch 22, if you want the human to stay human. If you think about it the heart is still pumping and the blood is moving around the body so the venom spreads quickly. A blood transfusion could possibly work but how many people have the blood and equipment hanging around for that. Carlisle has theorised that the venom acts like a virus and once in the bloodstream it enters a cell and changes the DNA. Then it starts to reproduce itself. He believes that there could only have been a couple of changed cells left in my body, hence the length of my change. When a vampire bites you the exchange of blood and venom is constant until the human is drained. There will still be a little venom in the body which is why a vampire hides or burns the remains. So people who go missing randomly, good chance that they were some vampire's dinner.

Now because there was only a miniscule amount of venom in my bloodstream it had to replicate and spread. You would think that the venom would do this quickly. Interesting little fact that has intrigued Carlisle is that the immune system fights the venom as if it was a virus slowing it down, eventually though it overwhelms the immune system shutting it down. The discussion between him and Eleazar about whether it was possible to create an anti-virus is still going on. Without experimenting with it though we will probably never know. As the Cullen's and the Denali's would never change someone unless they were dying or their mate, we will probably never know. We are keeping this information closely guarded though because there are others who would not as scrupulous and apparently the slow nature of the change has some side benefits. Well that is Carlisle's theory but he has also said it could be something different as I was never a normal human according to him.

My leg however, healed extremely quickly. I have had broken bones before and have good idea how long they take to heal. When you are as clumsy as I am you learn this information very quickly at a young age. The first difference I noticed was that the pain disappeared very quickly. You know that dull ache you get from broken bone or the pain when you inadvertently put weight on it before it has knitted back together properly. Well it was gone within two days. At the time I didn't think much of it. Within a week I was walking normally, well as normally as you can with a cast covering the bottom half of your leg. I mentioned it to Carlisle at that time, but he just theorised that the venom had probably been in my body long enough to start the healing process. He had in the past noticed with Esme, Rosalie and Emmet that the first thing that venom does is heal any injuries. It makes sense if you think about it the body naturally increases the blood flow to an area if it is injured.

So except for that brief question about the time it took to heal my leg I had, no clue about what was going on, nor did the Cullen's. If there had been any indicators then certain events may have occurred differently. I noticed differences in myself and others noticed things which left to some interesting miss understandings. In general we were ignorant of the effects that, that one incident with James had on me.

**AN: So what do you think. This is the first time I have written I a while. I have had several story ideas running around in my head. There's another like this about Bella's so change into a Vamp or something supernatural. I liked this one because it gets me back writing and it is pretty much laid out for a few chapters in my head. Let me know if I should continue. Not sure on the romantic relationship. I prefer Bella and Alice but would consider Tanya and Kate. Not Rosalie though because I don't have the heart to break her and Emmett up in this.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN- Twilight and the characters are owned by Stephanie Meyer, I don't own anything**.

**AN- ****I been asked about character, interaction. To be honest I am enjoying the way I am writing at the moment. However it is kind of journal like and I will probably have some interaction later. **

**AN- ****At the moment people want it a Bella Tanya romance. I can see that but I did have a plan for Tanya. If I go Tanya or Kate I have realised I will have to change her name in the first chapter though. However thinking about it, it could work with Alice or Kate. Plus Alice will probably be leaving the Cullen's. There will be Nessie but I will be bringing in Bree, not sure how yet but she will be there as will Angela. That's all a few chapters away though still have a lot to do before that. **

I let Carlisle and Alice read what I had written so far last night. Therapy again. They have suggested that I do this with every chapter. Although I don't think I need "therapy" as they call it. Writing this down has caused an interesting by product. It has caused an open and frank discussion of the events that have occurred. If you think about it everyone has a different opinion or version of events. A vampire has a perfect memory, but to remember an event you have to have witnessed it. As I was Human I will forget things or maybe not even notice because I lacked the super senses.

An example of this is my theory that a blood transfusion would work. Apparently after they pulled Edward (I thought they had) off me, Carlisle had me at the hospital in minutes. They had administered a transfusion at Carlisle's insistence, apparently I had been already told this but in my drugged induced has at the hospital it must of slipped my mind. As I have explained imperfect human memory. I may not have been too happy at the time also as I seem to remember being pissed at Edward for not allowing the change to happen.

I did at this point ask if he expected this to happen then. That if there was any venom in my system then I would change. However, he says it never crossed his mind. He had made some excuse to the hospital and asked them to do the transfusion, for Edwards benefit. Apparently having someone else's blood in me changed my scent and it would take a couple of months for it to return to normal. Edward had tasted my blood for the first time. So for my protection he had asked for a blood transfusion, I had needed to be given some blood anyway and although that would have had a similar effect this just gave them time to rebuild his control. Well this explained Edwards's moodiness and constant sniffing for the next couple of months.

He did say that if he had believed what had happened he would have tried the transfusion to prevent the change. We now know that it didn't make a difference other than possibly slowing down my change even further. He has theorised that the venom must have got into my marrow or an organ. Until he has finished studying all the data and samples though he will not be able to give me a definite answer, if he can at all. Well anyway back to the next signs of my change.

I have to say that, I was never the most graceful human. As soon as I could move I was a constant threat to myself. My parents obviously baby proofed the house to prevent any serious injury from things like the corners and edges of tables, as most parents do. Unfortunately for me and my parents it didn't work. If there was something I could trip over I would if there was anything I could hurt myself on, I would find it. If there was nothing there to trip over then thin air would do. On my third birthday party I had a cast on my wrist and a patch on my eye after an unfortunate tripping incident in the bathroom involving thin air the toilet bowl and toilet brush, while holding my mother's hand. Now you may say that it was probably the mats in there. It wasn't they had been removed after the last incident involving thin air a toilet bowl and brush, that had me in a cast and eye patch. Just the opposite arm and eye. This was my life.

At a young age some of it was the normal clumsiness that comes with a small child taking their first steps. I did however have a natural state of clumsiness that made it worse. It was painful for my mother who was with me when the majority of incidents happened as my father was at work. The constant trips to the hospital or doctors brought suspicion down on her. Child services were called and an investigation into her treatment of me. If it hadn't been for another incident involving fresh air a toy and the social workers steaming cup of coffee and the resulting trip to the hospital, I may have been removed from her care. The damage was done however, and my mother was always looked on with suspicion around Forks. I think it contributed to my parents break up and my mother taking me and moving away from Forks to Phoenix. This clumsiness never left me and was still there when I first met the Cullen's. It was a never ending source of amusement to Emmett. Even with Alice foreseeing these accidents happen I still had my fair share. She didn't prevent them all anyway as it would have been suspicious. She just prevented most of the ones that caused me any injury that would involve blood or a trip to the hospital. In gym it wasn't always possible and as you can imagine gym was dangerous place for me. Most people avoided me but on occasion my clumsiness would result in injuries to others.

It was in gym that I realised that something was different. Unfortunately it caused and injury to another but not through clumsiness. The cast had been of for about two weeks and I was re-joining the rest of the groups in the main activities rather than just jogging round the field or sports hall. Now that I think back on this I should have realised something was different. I had been running around the gym for two weeks and hadn't fallen once in that whole time. It was the last week of school and we were playing volleyball. Now I am not good at this sport and whenever I had played it before my clumsiness and lack of coordination had never let me get the ball over the net. As everyone had to participate I became a target. This is due to the fact I would normally just move out of the way of the ball guarantying the opponents a point. That is until the coach would yell at me to try and hit the ball or fail the class. Then I would try and hit it the ball always causing any of my team mates to scatter and the opponents to get the point because I never and I mean never got the ball over the net.

On this particular occasion I had moved into the net position and as usual the opponents hit the ball in my direction. As the ball soared in my direction, my team mates began to move out of the way or put their arms in front of their faces to protect themselves. The Coach had just yelled at me so they knew I had to attempt the smash. I can remember thinking 'why is the ball moving so slowly' as I jumped with what must have been perfect form and timing to hit the ball perfectly. Down towards the opponent's side of the court. Unfortunately on the other side of the net write in the path of my sweetly hit ball was Mike. I can remember watching his laughing face turn from where he had been watching my teammates scatter, see the ball heading his way and his expression turn to one of shock just as the ball hit him squarely on the nose. Flattening it and breaking it. His head snapped back, his eyes rolled up into his head and he fell backwards smashing his skull on the floor causing a gash and probably a concussion. Everything stopped in shock. Including me and everyone gapped between me and Mike. Until they heard another body hit the floor as Jessica fainted. I turned and looked around in shock as the coach and his friends rushed over to Mike, Lauren and Angela went to Jessica. I just stood there until several musical laughs caught my attention. Outside the windows of the gym I caught the Cullen's laughing at Mike's predicament. Alice had obviously seen this and told them all and they came out to witness it. Emmett was even filming it on his phone. I scowled at them and moved over to see if Jessica was going to be ok.

This at first seemed like a case of my clumsiness coming into play. I t felt completely different though. When I looked back on it later that evening I realised that my body had moved like some athletes. It had reacted with speed, co-ordination and a grace that I had never experienced before. It did exactly what I wanted it to do and the ball had gone exactly where I wanted (I have to admit that there may have been a little bit of sub-conscious malice towards mike as he had begun mooning over me again that week and it was irritating me) with exactly the power I had wanted. I sat there waiting for Edward to arrive thinking long and hard about the last few weeks. It was more noticeable after I got the cast of, but I hadn't tripped over, tumbled down the stairs, fallen out of bed or any of the other myriad of things that could happen to me on a daily basis. Later I asked Edward who was scowling and sniffing the air at the time. He put it off as I had probably just stopped growing and become used to my body. He then went on to explain that as you grow children and teenagers could be clumsy and uncoordinated as the brain and body hadn't yet reprogrammed itself to its new shape and size. I pondered this and looked it up online and decided that yes the theory was fair. After that I just put it aside and decided to enjoy the new freedom this gave me.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN- Twilight and the characters are owned by Stephanie Meyer, I don't own anything**.

**AN- I Ksow this is slightly slow but I hope for it to pick up soon but the ground work needs to be laid**.

**AN- Right there are several things I need to sort out in my head and I am open to your opinions. For example I have killed Laurent already but haven't got to the meadow incident and may not for a couple of chapters. I do have an issue with it as I have set something up with the wolves in this chapter, but I am not over keen on them rescuing Bella. However it is a possibility, I would prefer it to be where I reintroduce Alice after the Cullen's leave. I also need to make a final decision on the relationship because if it's Alice then she will be alone, if it's Tanya or Kate then she will arrive with Jasper.**

**AN- I also have a plan for Angela to do with Bella's change. I know what is going to happen not sure when and where but it's going to happen and has to do with Bella leaving Forks for Denali. Another thought I have had now that Laurent is dead is having Charlie mated to one of the Denali girls, probably Irina. As people are leaning towards a Bella Tanya relationship, it would leave all the Denali's mated. What do you think? I have all the major events sorted it's just details like mating and the order of events that matter.**

It was several days before I could get Carlisle and Alice together and show them what I had written. Something that I had written had obviously intrigued him as he had been lock away in his office come lab for about a week. He had made brief trips out but no one had any idea where he had gone. Alice on the other hand had decided that we needed new clothes and dragged me out to every mall within a 100 mile radius. Eventually I managed to curb her shopping and Bella Barbie impulse for long enough to sit her and Carlisle down.

Carlisle and Alice feel that if they had been paying proper attention at the time they may have realised something was going on. Unfortunately they were both occupied with other issues at the time. Carlisle was as usually working at the hospital, but at the same time he was spending a lot of time either talking to or testing Edward, whose behaviour had become erratic. He had also requested that Alice keep an eye on him with her visions. With that added to her looking out for my clumsiness and the rest of the family as well as spending time with me. Apparently she had been watching out for Victoria as she was worried about her reactions to us killing James. This she hadn't mentioned to anyone but we suspect Edward was aware because as soon as Alice saw her in the southern states he decided they all should leave. So it's not surprising that they didn't put it all together with everything that was going on.

That's not to say that they hadn't noticed some changes in me. They did but as these changes can also happen in a human over time, they didn't think much of it. Alice had noticed my hair had gotten thicker, shinier and the colour was more vibrant. I didn't notice this till month's after her when it was more obvious, her vampire eyesight noticed it sooner. Esme had mentioned to Edward that I seemed to be eating more and a lot of it was meat and that I had seemed to like have more meet than before. Especially steak and that now liked to have it rare and bloody rather than well done. I personally noticed that I was becoming more toned. I had however been doing more physical exercise since I realised I could run without tripping, so I put it down to that.

Carlisle however noticed something more subtle. Apparently I had been showing some interesting psychological changes that at the time he found interesting, but had put them down to me slowly maturing. He also stated that my more confident attitude and all round general happiness could also have been affected by the extra exercise. It has been shown that as people's fitness improves so does their mental state. Yes I have to agree with him, I was gaining more confidence and becoming happier. Now that I was trying more physical exercise instead of reading in my spare time I was gaining confidence. I did explain that this was more down to my clumsiness disappearing overnight rather than the exercise itself. He laughed here as he had at the time put down my lack of clumsiness down to my improved confidence because of the physical exercise.

If they hadn't been vampires for so long and actually interacted more often with the humans around them then they may have notice the rapidity of the changes. For example during the summer break, my face thinned out losing any remaining body fat. Now in a human this takes place over a period of years, with me it took less than three months. We all noticed different things however, and it is only now that we are building the whole picture.

Now he has asked me to not only talk to write down my changes but also explain how I felt about the changes go on in my life at the time. So I suppose I need to talk about what was going on with Edward at the time and how my feeling towards him were changing before the next major event in my life.. I have explained some about how he felt about my blood transfusion. However I had begun to notice that I may not feel about him the way I thought I had and for the reasons I originally believed. I had attended prom with him and told him that I wanted to be turned. I won't go into details but he refused, saying something about my soul and humanity. I only mention this briefly because a few months later I found out that it was a lie. I only need to mention this now because I think that at the time or soon after I came to suspect this in the back of my mind. I didn't think too much about it at the time as I had noticed something else about myself that I had never noticed before.

Now that I think about it all the doubts about me and him had all started at the junior prom. Well it I think that it became a conscious thought process at prom but it may have always been there. Let me explain. Lauren had attended with Tyler, Jessica with Mike and Angela with Ben. It was Angela I noticed doing it first. I was dancing with Edward when saw Angela staring over towards a table with a flushed face. I followed her gaze and there were Jessica and Lauren bent other a table looking at something. Now both girls were wearing very tight short dresses, which had ridden up to just below their arse cheeks and both girls are very attractive in the looks department so I began to stare. They have very nice figures and their legs are to die for. Pity about their personalities, although I suppose Jess is nice enough she can be very irritating, Lauren is just a vindictive bitch. Anyway I had caught Angela's eyes roving over their legs and arses. I at that moment realised I had been doing the same, I blushed and averted my eyes briefly glancing towards Angela back to the girls pausing then back to Edward. He caught my eye movements and glanced himself.

"_Ah I see you have noticed" he whispered in my ear. "Disgusting isn't it."_

"_What is?" I asked confused._

"_Angela's little perversion." He hissed out. "She likes girls not boys."_

"_So what if she does" I asked him. _I remember being nervous and scared and really confused at this point.

"_It's wrong; love should be between a woman and a man. Anything else is perverted and a sin" he explained in that condescending voice. _

"_Love is love Edward." I answered. "It's the 21__st__ Century after all times have moved on since you were born." His reaction to my comments worried me._

"_No Bella you will come to realise there are some sin's that cannot be forgiven and that is one of them .If I still hunted humans then she would have been one of those I would have been quite happy to feed" he said longingly looking at Angela and licking his lips._

Idecided to leave it alone and shut up because what he was saying changed the whole way I looked at him and his past. I already knew he had left Edward for a while and hunted humans_. _Before that moment though I had always believed that he had hunted criminals but when I heard him use sinners as a hunting choice that opened up a can of worms I wasn't ready to deal with. How many innocents had he killed? Plus the way he said if he still hunted humans made me wonder if he really regretted it like he had told us before.

I thought about the whole incident over the summer and had started to come to the conclusion that I may be a little bit gay. Edward had been my first boyfriend. This wasn't because I was ugly though. I had never had any interest in boys and found that any that did ask me out were not to my taste. Now Edward was different and I realised that the reason I dated him was because he was not only mysterious and aloof from the rest. He was also extremely attractive in a very feminine way. I can remember panicking and shoving it to the back of my mind. Unfortunately it didn't stay there and I found myself noticing girls when I was out. I also tended to stare at Alice and Rosalie more. I can remember Rosalie giving me weird and freaked out looks when she caught me. Alice just smiled a little knowing smile and turned away.

These revelations obviously didn't help with my relationship with Edward and I began to doubt why I was with him. I kept trying to convince myself that I loved him and he loved me but I think I knew I was fooling myself. His behaviour though was contradicting this and though I tried to deny it, I was beginning to suspect his motives for being there. He made a lot of excuses to avoid spending time with me for most of the summer and when he was around it wasn't for long. Both I and his family began to worry about him. He would disappear for a month and only returned at the end of the holidays. He wouldn't say were he was and only that he needed time to think. We know he didn't go to Denali but that was all we knew. He returned just after Alice had proudly informed me that my scent had nearly returned to normal. After that he was back to the attentive Edward and spent most of his time around me.

The only other different thing that happened over the summer was the sudden interest that Billy Black, Harry Clearwater and Sam Uley took in me down at La Push. I can remember thinking at the time it was weird but now I can understand. I had gone down several times to visit Jake when Edward wasn't around and eventually I bumped into Sam. Now Jake at the time couldn't stand Sam and was really quite rude to him. I scolded him turned to Sam held out my hand and introduced myself. When he took my hand he grasped it tightly after a second and wouldn't release it. He then asked me if I had any relatives on the reservation. When I told him not that I knew off he abruptly left saying he needed to talk to Billy. After that and for the next few month's Billy kept questioning me how I felt and my Dad if he had noticed anything different about me. I began to see a lot more of Billy Jake and Harry Clearwater over the summer and Alice and Edward when he was around were not happy. Rose to but that was the smell and she took to making me shower in specially built shower in the garage whenever I went over. Now I know why they did it but at the time I was confused and hurt about their behaviour. If they had told me about the wolves then maybe we could have avoided it. I won't go anymore into what was happening with them now, as it happens later in the year after the next major incident in my life and after several more changes had happened to me.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN- Twilight and the characters are owned by Stephanie Meyer, I don't own anything**.

**AN- This chapter is going to be different to the previous in format. I will probably throw these in every now and again.**

**AN- As for the relationship someone made a suggestion that I hadn't really considered before. It is an interesting thought and I will think about it, there would be a historical issue to solve but I could work it within the parameters of the story. This would be a Bella/Tanya/Relationship.**

**AN-** **Shadowclub. Yeah I am probably going to go down that line. It's not final** **but it would make sense, but I am also considering Leah/Cullen and Leah/Bree. But she won't be a major part of the story. She will be around though eventually.**

**AN- As I have said all the major events are set in my head just the little details to sort out but I am getting there. Of course later on the whole direction could change if I decide something doesn't quite work.**

Bella Cullen was currently sitting staring out over the Alaskan countryside, deep in thought. On her lap she had the black leather bound journal than Carlisle had asked her write down her thoughts and memories. She was currently deep in thought contemplating what she had already written and how she was going to tackle what had to come next. It was going to cause her and her family a lot of pain. However, now that she thought about it, she had to agree with Carlisle. Writing this down was therapeutic. The whole process was helping her order her thoughts and deal with the issues that she didn't know she had. She had spent so much time ignoring incidents that she had never dealt with them. The incident with James was a prime example. After she had left the hospital she had just resumed her life, exactly as it had been before. Now though she realised that it was a traumatic incident in her life and it should have been dealt with. She had nearly died, she had been willing to do so but still, a near death experience was something you should seek counselling for. She had nightmares right up until she stopped sleeping. It was an incident that should not have been glossed over. Alright she couldn't exactly go and ask a normal therapist but surely the Cullen's would have known someone that she could have seen. Since she had moved to her life had been very traumatic but every time, she suffered through the trauma, then just returned back to her life as if nothing had happened. But things had happened and were still happening.

Sighing she ran her hand over her book once more then placed it beside her and waited. This is one of the things she liked about being a Vampire. She could sit there deep in thought and still pay attention to what her senses were telling her. Her power helped with this to but she tried not relying on it all the time. The power of her brain fascinated her at times. She had been aware of the other Vampire trying to sneak up on her for the last ten minutes and her senses told her he would attack soon. She knew who it was because he tried this at least once a week. He would never learn no matter how many times he lost the game. She felt the change in the air as his leap bought him close to her. She stood spun caught him carried on with her spin taking her full circle then with a little push with her power sent him sailing in through the air towards the lake behind some trees. She then calmly sat down picked up her book and continued contemplating the past.

"You cheated." The petulant vampire complained as he walked up to her a few minutes later. "You used your powers."

"I only used it to increase the distance of the throw. Plus how many times do we have to explain it to you, I only have the one power everything else is an extension of that power." She stood dusted of her behind and looked at the large Vampire. "Rose is going to kill you when you get back Emmett. You know how she feels about you trying to jump me or any unsuspecting Vamp after you tried it on Tanya and she ripped your arms of."

"Ah come on Bells, don't tell her." He whined "I was only mucking around, you know I would never hurt you."

"Emmett you can't hurt me. Anyway I won't have to tell her." She waived her hands up and down in his direction indicating his clothes "I think she will work it out by the wet and torn clothing."

"Damn it!" he moaned looking down at himself. "She will cut me off."

"Yep, why are you here anyway Emmett?" she raised her eyebrows giving him a serious look. "I told everyone I wanted to be left alone."

"Oh yeah, Carlisle and Eleazar want to talk about something with you." he answered, embarrassed about forgetting.

"Ok I'll head back; you have ruined my chain of thought anyway." She turned to leave.

"Bells can you tell Rose that I will be back later and that I went hunting." She rolled her eyes at him and ran off towards the house.

"She will still know." She shouted over her shoulder hearing a damn it in reply carried over the wind. She gradually increased her speed to get herself home quicker. It would only take her fifteen minutes at full speed but she decided to take it more leisurely as she was enjoying the scenery and the feeling of the cold air against her skin. Thirty minutes later she was nearly home when she stopped, to watch as a giggling Kate Denali, came shooting towards her. Kate briefly stopped smiled at Bella, waved the dog leash with a massive collar on it, then shot of again, only for a large grey horse sized growling wolf to shoot past nearly bowling her over in its hast to catch the laughing vampire. Bella just shook her head with a smile and moved off again.

Bella slowly walked into the house, smiling at Rosalie who was sitting on the couch reading a magazine. The beautiful blond looked up at her smiling before scowling.

"He tried to jump you again didn't he?" She hissed out and Bella just nodded. "God he will never learn and one day it will get him killed. You don't go jumping new-borns like that."

"Actually Rose, Bella is not a new-born and hasn't been for a while." A voice spoke from the stairs. Both of the girls looked over to the stairs and saw Carlisle and Edward moving down them at human pace with excited gleams in their eyes.

"What are you talking about isn't she technically, still in her first year, even if her heart is beating." Rose questioned.

"Well that depends, if you take the bite of James and then factor in the time it normally for the change to happen then she would be past the new-born phase. If you take it from when Alice returned or when they realised what was happening then technically she could be a new-born, but Bella's case is completely different because she hasn't fully completed the change yet." Carlisle explained.

"So when, my heart stops beating is the start of the new-born phase then." Bella questioned him.

"This is what we wanted to talk to you about Bella, why you are technically right we feel that you have passed that stage. If you sit down, Rose you can stay if it's OK with Bella and Esme to if she wants." Esme had just walked in wiping paint of her hands with a cloth.

"It's alright for them to stay. What about Alice, won't she want to be here." Bella asked Carlisle.

"She knows what we are going to talk to you about and called to say she was going to come back tomorrow after she finished shopping." Eleazar answered for Carlisle who was giving a quick kiss to Esme and apologising for his pre-occupation over the last few days. He turned and walked over to Bella holding out a book. Bella took it and read the title. 'The development and stages of Vampire maturation by Marcus Volturi." Bella just looked at him confused.

"Bella when we read what you had written so far, a couple of thoughts occurred to us. One was about your venom and venom as a whole. That's why we have been asking for samples. We will come back to that at a future date as we have some research still to do. The other thought was where you stood on the vampire maturation scale. Now after what you had written in your Journal and the other couple of incidents you have mentioned before, we believe you have passed the new-born phase. Now it's complicated and you are different but it gives us an idea of where you and we stand. However, you will need a basic understanding of what was the norm before you."

"Ok then so I have to read this, then you will tell me where I fit in." Bella looked at the book which was quite thick and grimaced.

"No I have given you that so you can read it at your leisure if you want to understand better. I can give you a break down. It will be very basic but it will have the salient points."

"OK then hit me with it." Bella sat down next to her sister who moved closer and placed her head on Bella's shoulder.

"Right there are five known phases to the maturation of a vampire…."

"Five!" Rose exclaimed her head coming of Bella shoulder. "I thought there were only two, new-born and…and well not New-born. What else is there?"

"Rose that book has been in my library since I turned you and I did suggest reading it when your New-born phase was over." Carlisle scolded her.

"Yeah well it's scientific and well well….whatever" she told him pouting.

"And you call Emmett childish Bella whispered only to receive a nudge in her side. Giggling Bella indicated to Carlisle or Eleazar to continue.

"The five phases are Conversus, Natum, Adulescentia, Maturum and Avitus." Eleazar explained, then raised his eyebrows at the blank stares from Rose and Bella and turned to Carlisle with a questioning look. Carlisle let out a laugh.

"They are children of the twentieth century Eleazar. They don't know Latin. Just explain the English terms and explain what they all mean."

"Oh ok. Well Conversus is conversion or as we like to call it turning. That is self-explanatory and we will do more when we finish our study into venom because it is all about how the venom works. The next phase is Natum; the new –born, now as you know the vampire is extremely volatile at this stage and it usually only lasts for a year in its more extreme forms but can be longer or even shorter. The change causes a state of confusion within the vampire. The vampire has surging emotions, blood is almost impossible to resist, sexual urges to. The human blood that remains means that the vampire is extremely strong, fast and territorial. That is why many vampire disputes involve armies of new-borns that are created for their speed and strength then destroyed when their usefulness is over. Now Bella from a few of the incidents that you or Alice has explained we believe that you were going through this while you are still mostly human. Although the whole process seems to have been muted and less volatile. Carlisle and I, have discussed this and believe that if you had turned normally you would have been a very controlled new-born. The point is moot now and we will never know, still it is an interesting debate. Although as we know vampires you create are very controlled also, but that is another discussion that has to do with venom." Bella nodded in understanding.

"The next phase is Adulescentia or the adolescent vampire. This is the phase that I, Carmen, Rose, Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Emmett, Jasper and 90 per cent of vampires around occupy. This phase is where the Vampire is learning about the life of a Vampire. Mostly it is about controlling the blood lust, their strength, feeding habits, speed and all their other senses. However even though they no longer have new-born speed or strength they can be volatile and childlike in some ways just like a new-born. This lasts for approximately a thousand years. You will all notice the changes as you come to the end of that period. I have and so has Carmen. Of course there are always exceptions to some of these rules, Carlisle has better control over his thirst than vampire's millennium's older. It is also the time were the majority of Vampires die, if they pass the new-born phase they will invariably die in some sort of conflict or territory dispute. Unless they ally with a strong coven such as the Volturi or our families" He looked around the room to see if everyone was understanding. As they all were nodding he continued.

"Now we come to the phase that Tanya, Irina and Kate occupy. Maturum phase or mature vampires. These vampires take up most of the rest of the vampire population. These vampires in general have complete control of their blood lust. If a human was bleeding a little, say from a cut on their hand or a woman's monthly cycle they would not be affected. Their eye colour would remain red or in our case gold. Ours may darken a little due to our abstinence from human blood but we would remain controlled. However if there was as abundance of blood we would react the same as an adolescent vampire. Their eyes would darken and the blood lust would start to take over. If they are human feeders we would probably feed or in Tanya's, Kate's and Irina's case leave the area. Other changes are that they are stronger and faster and have more attuned senses than an adolescent vampire. This is however a process that begins as an adolescent vampire and continues on into the mature vampire and onwards. Mature vampires are the second rarest of vampires…actually let's say they are the third rarest now. There numbers are unknown. There is a another coven in Amazon and a couple of individuals around the world. Most mature vampires reside with Volturi. This phase from approximately 1000 years old to 2000 years old giving a few centuries here and there. This brings me on to the remaining phase as far as we know.

Avitus vampires. These are the ancients are rarest of all, and only seven are known to exist. Five of these are with the Volturi. Marcus Aro and Caius are believed to be around 3000 years old. Their wives are nearly as old. There are two others Stefan and Vladimir who maybe slightly older or younger, also no-one knows if they have mates and how old they are. These are the most deadly vampires on the planet. They are at the peak of their physical powers. They are faster, and stronger than any vampire on the planet, even new-borns. Blood lust even though it is there has no effect on them. They could bath in a swimming pool of fresh blood and not drink a drop. This is about the same level of control Carlisle has. Their senses however, according to Marcus although finally tuned are not that much different to an adolescent vampire. Now I have not mentioned extra powers before. Aro and Marcus have powers like you and Alice, much like all our other abilities these improve with age and practice. However, for some reason that Marcus couldn't discern parts of our abilities do not become available until you reach a greater age. For example according to that book Aro could only read people's minds when he was a young vampire. Eventually, this also developed after about 2000 thousand years into him being able to see everything about a person's lives. We do not know the full extent of Aro's powers or how they developed because they keep it a closely guarded secret. Same goes for Marcus and no one knows for sure whether Caius has any powers at all. Right that's about all really, it's very condensed and generalised. If you want to know more than read the book." Everyone was obviously digesting what Eleazar had explained.

"Soooo, what you are saying is that I am basically a hormonal teenage vampire and so is Bella." Rose asked him sarcastically.

"Although the analogy isn't quite accurate, about you that would be accurate, Bella nowhere close." Eleazar told her smoothly

"Huh, what do mean, from that long winded explanation you just gave she clearly falls into the teenager phase. Whether her change was normal or not it clearly follows the new-born phase. She has been a sort of vampire, sorry Bella, for less than two years." Rose argued.

"Well her heart is still beating so you could argue that she is still turning Rose so you could argue that she is still in the, what was it Carlisle?" Esme added.

"Conversus or conversion dear, but again no that would not be accurate. While we are not sure if this is an appropriate scale for her, it gives us and Bella, a reference point. As far as we can work out from the tests we have done with Bella and the others, she would fall more in the tail end of the mature vampire phase."

"What!" Rose and Bella ejaculated.

"From the tests we have done, Bella has more control over her Blood Lust than Tanya the oldest of us, she is already faster and stronger. That only seems to be improving rather than declining. Her powers are only developing so to all intense purposes she is the same as a mature vampire. When her change is complete Eleazar and I fully expect her to be as developed as Aro the oldest vampire we know." They all had stunned expressions on their faces. "Of course I have a feeling that this is not really accurate which is why we are doing more research and tests. Because Bella although related to a vampire could turn out to be something completely different."


	5. Chapter 5

**AN- Twilight and the characters are owned by Stephanie Meyer, I don't own anything**.

After the shock of Eleazar's and Carlisle's explanation had worn of, I actually began to try and read the book he had given me. It was unfortunately in that quasi legal scientific babble. For someone who likes to read the classics and fiction, it was a grind. I tried I really did but put it down about half way through the first chapter and started on Pride and Prejudice. I had read it before but it is much more relaxing. To me that is what reading is, a way to relax and escape. Rose did try borrowing the book after I put it down but came back with it thirty minutes later with a grimace on her face. I laughed as she threw it on my desk and flitted out of the room with Wuthering Heights.

It has been a week since I have written in this and Carlisle has been nudging me to continue. I think he is aware of what, I will be writing about. As I have said it is a painful episode in my life and for the Cullen's to. I don't think that any of us has really covered the effect them leaving has had on us all. \it couldn't really be helped as there were other things going on that took precedence. So other than an apology from them all in one form or another it has been ignored. I haven't wanted write this down and although I have been avoiding doing so I have thought about what to say and how to go about it. No conclusions were gained so I had a chat with Alice and she suggested just start and see where it takes you. So I am going to do so and take it right through to the return of Alice. I will say that I will be adding things in that I wasn't fully aware of at the time or even in some cases really noticed, no that's wrong I noticed I just didn't care. Anyway lets began and you will see.

It started on my Birthday. In the morning, Alice had persuaded, with the help of Jasper, me to attend a small gathering at the Cullen house. I was turning eighteen she argued and that should always be celebrated even if I didn't want to. Even Edward was eager for me to attend and recently he had been trying to keep me away from as many people as possible. We spent most of our time secluded in my room. He got really agitated if I hugged anyone and if I went down to La push he would not come near me for a day or to. His behaviour was erratic but considering that I had stopped being so attentive and clingy, due to my continuing sexual awakening, I had put it down to him realising something was wrong. I hardly saw Alice at all, and at that time I wanted to spend time with her the most.

I arrived at the house and everything had been fine at first. There was cake, they sung me happy Birthday and there was dancing. Then the presents came, I had a radio for my truck from Emmet and Rose, the next was a cd from Edward and the next was the problem. It was actually plain tickets so I could visit my mother, Carlisle and Esme got them. Unfortunately for me, for the first time in month's had a clumsy moment and got a paper cut on my finger. I can remember the next series of events clearly. At the time I was to shocked to really contemplate what it all meant, and it was not till months later that I came to realise what was really going on in those brief few seconds.

Anyway I placed my finger in my mouth, which is weird for me as I hated the sight of and taste blood. It briefly struck me odd as I remember that my finger tasted wonderful for a second before that metallic taste took over. Then I looked at Edward because I realised the room had gone very quiet and still. His eyes were black and his face had lustful look on it, which until prom would have got me so excited. I stopped moving just as he burst into motion. He suddenly lurched towards me, I remember thinking 'oh shit he's going to bite me', just then I caught the sight of Jasper moving at speed. Even though I lost sight of him I can tell you now with all certainty that he was going for Edward to protect me. I know this because Edward told me this, but that is for another journal entry. Edward then spun pushing his hand out into my chest. I flew backs smashing into a table and picture. Unfortunately the glass from the picture frame sliced into my arm. I think this was the point where Jasper lost control and moved towards me. Alice and Emmett grabbed him and dragged him out of the house. Edward stood motionless, his black eyes on my arm. L felt a hand wrap around the bleeding tightly but paid no attention to who it may have been. I was enthralled with what Edward was doing. I was hoping he would attack and bite me then I would be turned or die. As others were in the room I knew that they would pull him of me so I was hoping I would just be turned. I remember being highly disappointed when Esme and Rosalie moved over and dragged him from the room. Carlisle then helped me up and guided me to his study where he talked to me while treating my wound. I am not sure about what he was saying however as I was in a complete daze.

The ramifications of my birthday party were going to last month's for me; I remember being confused for the next week as all the Cullen's except Edward disappeared. I only saw him in the evenings when he would come to my room, none of them attended school. I hadn't really thought much about my party as I had been having a really quite interesting time at school. Well in gym class anyway. We had reasonable weather, so we were out on the sports field every day. It wasn't sunny but no rain and warmth meant the coach felt a little fresh air would do us good. I was actually excited because I loved to run a now. I spent most of the week taking part in track and field activities. The shock to the system came on the first day when I won a 1500m race by a decent distance. The shock was not only that I won buy also the manner I did. I was terrible at sports, had been all my life. Just because my clumsiness disappeared didn't mean that I was going to suddenly get good at them, well that was my theory. At the end of the race I was half a lap ahead of the others and even though I was breathing heavy I was still raring to go. This happened all week I was suddenly the top athlete in my class. I won all the events on the track and when we went over to the field activities I won a couple of them to. After that I started to get strange looks from the coach and my classmates. I decided that maybe it would be best to stop showing of. I hate to admit it but I was, but come on it was the first time I had ever been any good at this kind of stuff. So I came home on the Friday extremely pleased with myself, with a letter for my father requesting that I be taken to the doctor for drugs testing in one hand and another asking for me to join the track team in the other. The drug letter didn't bother me, because I wasn't on drugs and they were just suspicious of my sudden improvement in gym class. The interrogation from my dad did but then he was a cop. What is sort of annoying is that if my birthday class hadn't happened it would have been Carlisle to perform the drugs test, oh and the physical required to join the sports team, he would have talked to me about why there was a need for it and then began other testing and discovered what was happening. Still let's not dwell on that.

That evening after the interrogation from my father, he was called into work on some matter in the adjacent county. I was just finishing the dishes when I heard a knock on the door. Opening it I found Edward there, I remember being surprised at his actions because usually he just waited in my room for me to appear. He requested that we should go for a walk. Now I have to say in hindsight that this was probably one of the stupidest things that I have ever done. I can remember having doubts about Edwards's affections for me and what was behind them, before this event. I am also pretty sure that he must have realised that I was losing interest in him as I had become less attentive and affectionate. Recently I had stopped touching him, letting him touch me or sit on my bed when I slept. I had even gone to the extent of asking him to go home when I felt unsure and closing the window. I had stopped sleeping very well when he was there and began to feel slightly unsafe around him, especially since my party. Yet I still chose to leave the house and follow him up the path into the forest. I don't know how I even survived that day.

When we had been walking for about five minutes, he stopped and informed me they were leaving. When I said that I would say goodbye to my father, he broke the full extent of the news ripping a hole in my chest right were my heart was. I was a pet, a simple plaything something they had long become bored with me and that I would never see any of them again, it would be like they never existed. I begged and pleaded telling him I would be better if he didn't leave. I asked him if I could see Alice and say goodbye and he just informed me she was the first to suggest they leave and that she had left with Jasper already. When he turned and walked away I can remember begging him not go and that I would do anything, sobbing as my heart broke. He just turned to me smirking and said the words. 'What can you do, you're just a human we are gods. You are put here for our amusement and pleasure. You are just cattle.' Then he turned and disappeared into the trees. I ran after him leaping over fallen trees screaming his name begging for him to let me come with them. Eventually I fell to the ground just as it started to rain, retreating into my own mind. Picturing them, each and every one of the Cullen's in my mind just searing their images into my memory. I then began to go over every interaction with them just trying to see if what he had said was the truth.

I didn't become aware of my surroundings until three days later, in that whole time I was lost in my thoughts of the Cullen's. I will not go into the conversation that I had with my father or the doctor he had called. From what I was told it was one of the Quileute's that discovered me ten miles into the forest, two days later. How I didn't die of exposure was a mystery to them, but other than being dehydrated and tired I was fine. I was running a high temperature but that wasn't unusual lately. As soon as I was alone I got up and immediately sent emails and texts, to Alice. I couldn't believe what Edward had said about Alice. They just came back unanswered. I suck out although I was grounded and went to their house only to find it boarded up and locked. I searched everywhere that she might leave a message for me. I didn't find a thing though. Then I began to believe that she would return soon. I began to sit in my bedroom alone just sitting at the window for her return. At school I sat at their table, growling at anyone that tried to sit there, except Angela strangely enough. She would sit next to me, occasionally putting a hand on my arm in support but she never spoke, just sat reading as I stared out of the window.

After about a month, Charlie decided enough was enough and stepped in. He informed me that if I didn't snap out of it, I would be going to my mothers. I snapped, yelling and screaming at him to get out of my room and that if I couldn't stay here then I would leave but I wasn't leaving Forks. Strangely I think that he was hoping for this reaction because he never suggested it again. However, it cost him some money and me grounding because I destroyed my room. I spent much of the next period of time grounded. The rage I felt was all encompassing. He was called into school several times for me fighting or being downright rude to teachers. I was at first still ignoring nearly everyone but had begun to talk to Angela. Unfortunately this led to my first fight with Mike who decided to come and speak; well maybe flirt with me is more accurate. When Angela stepped in and said maybe he should leave me alone, he turned on her calling her a dyke and to stay out of it (Apparently Ben had recently broke up with her because he suspected she was gay because she wouldn't put out, he was now dating Katie who is nice but is renowned for being a bit easy, Boys!). I leapt across the table and began to batter him. Eventually I was pulled of and received the first of a few suspensions. Eventually my anger began to subside and I decided to start socialising more, well actually Dad managed to get me out more often by taking me to La Push (he insisted) and threatening me with therapy.

My first foray into a new social life was a trip to Port Angeles shopping. I needed a few things as I remember. Makeup, mainly an appropriate foundation as I had bags under my eyes and seeing them every time I looked in the mirror just reminded me of the Cullen's, they looked just like theirs when they were hungry. Mine at the time I had deduced were from lack of sleep. I never got more than three to five hours, no matter what I attempted. The most important thing I needed was clothes. I had, even with my lack of eating managed to fill out a bit. I needed new bras because I had 33b to a 35c, underwear as my hips had filled out and my panties had gotten really tight. The strangest thing though was that I had managed to grow two inches in height in the last month and an inch the month before. I was now the same height as my mother and her mother. Considering I had been 5'4" tall for at least three years this was a bit of a shock but a pleasant one. Dad just said that it must be something in the water as a few of the boys on the reservation had growth spurts like this but they had grown anyway from six inches to a foot in about two months. So as you can imagine I was going to be shopping for a while and dragged Angela along for her company and opinion.

After a few hours of shopping we finally decided to call it a day and go to a steak joint down the road as I was hungry and was craving a really bloody, raw just placed into the hot pan turned over and then on the plate, steak. We were just about to go into the restaurant, when I caught a flash of red out of the corner of my eye. I turned to look and there down the street was a very familiar vampire. I at that moment felt terror as I knew that she wanted to kill me and would have no qualms killing Angela and anyone in the restaurant as well. It was immediately obvious what I had to do, so I made an excuse to Angela about having to pop back to my truck. When she went into the restaurant I turned and walked to where the vampire was stood smirking. I took about ten steps when a very recognisable voice said "No Bella". I glanced around and saw nothing. I moved towards Victoria again. "No Bella, just stop." I turned to the direction of the voice and saw a shadowy Alice standing by the building. "Please don't Bella just wait, she won't risk attacking you, here." Just then I was distracted by my name being shouted and turned to see Jake come jogging down the street with Embry. Behind them were Sam and Paul but they were staring in the direction Victoria had been standing. I acknowledged, Jake and turned to where Alice had been to find no-one there.

I started to spend more time with Jake after that. Jake and Angela began to fill much of my spare time and fill in the whole that the Cullen's had left gaping in my chest. It was because of my more frequent trips to see Jake that I managed to see Alice again. I was driving down to the res one day when I saw two bikes for sale. They needed work to be safe to ride. I immediately bought them. I had always wanted one but had always felt that I was to unbalanced to drive one, plus it would annoy my dad, who I was still annoyed at, he hated the things. The owner and I wrestled them into the back of my truck, rather easily as I remember, and I took them down to Jake. We spent a month after that just stripping them down and rebuilding them. Well Jake did I just handed him the tools. It was the first time I tried to ride them that I saw Alice, she begged me not to do it as I could hurt myself. I ignored her and proceeded hurt myself. It was just a first time rider's mistake. I throttled too hard and the bike pulled a wheelie and shot out from under me, leaving me flat on my back with a bruised tailbone. After that I was constantly attempting dangerous things just to hear her voice right up until I was asked not to return to the res.

What you have to understand is that I was being watched. The wolves had been watching me since I had shook hands with Sam. It wasn't until I found out that they were wolves that I found this out. Now on the res they will tell someone what is happening to them as soon as they start to change, as soon as they are sure. The only person they didn't tell was Leah, but that was because she was a girl and they couldn't be sure, as the misogynistic arse holes didn't believe it was possible for a girl to change. Now they were not going to tell me either but I found out one day after an argument with Paul. I had arrived at Jakes one morning to go riding when I ran into Paul, Sam and Embry. Paul started his perverted comments about me as soon as he saw me. This had become a common occurrence as I spent more time down there. I won't go into any details about what he was saying but it ended with me punching him on the Jaw and knocking him down. I can remember the shocked looks on Sam's and Embry's face when this occurred and as I shook my hand out, because damn that hurt. Paul jumped to his feet shaking with rage, Sam tried to calm him and I got a little fearful and started to back up towards Jakes house. Then to my complete and utter shock he just seemed to explode into a horse sized wolf, I fell an my arse as he leapt towards me just as another wolf came sailing over my head tackling Paul into the woods.

After that Jake sat me down and explained all about the wolves. That they were the protectors of the tribe and that it was vampires that caused the change. He told me about the treaty they had with the Cullen's. That Paul's attitude towards me was because of the Cullen's and well that he was a pervert to. He then told me about imprinting and how their imprints were their soul mate. He then said he had hoped to imprint on me or that I would on him. That at the time was a comment that I thought was strange. He also told me that they had been watching me because of the Cullen's It wasn't until much later after I got to spend more time with Leah that I found out the truth behind his comments about imprinting and watching me. Apparently they believed that I was changing into a wolf and were confused. When Sam had shaken my hand he had noticed my un-natural warmth. Jake also told them about my improved co-ordination, improved body tone and then with my sudden increase in height they had decided to encourage Charlie to come down to the reservation more. They also began to research our family to see if there is any Quileute blood in it. When I knocked Paul on his arse they became convinced I was going to change. But I didn't and they found I had no familial connection to the tribe. So they began to become fearful and when I began to smell different they decided it was time for me to stay away. They still watched me though and if I hadn't been so caught up in my own misery then I may have noticed their presence. I did notice their smell though it plagued me for weeks this wet dog and garbage scent.

It was February that I got the call from Jake. It was one day after school. He phoned and told me that for my own protection, it would be best if I stayed away from the reservation. I asked why but he informed me that it had been decided that the continuing friction between Paul and I that it would be best if I stayed away. I argued but he was having none of it. So I asked if he would come to my house and was informed that he had been ordered to stay away but he would return my bike. It felt like my world was ending again. In less than six months I had lost two of my best friends. It was at this point I decided that if I went into the forest I would probably bump into Victoria and surely she would end my existence. I started to plan; I left a note for my Parents and Angela. I wrote one for Alice and the Cullen's too. I donated a lot of my books to the library just keeping my two favourites. I then got my dad's maps of the forest from his closet and started trying to find the meadow. It only took a week of careful grid searches with the help of Google maps. I was both thankful and disappointed that Victoria didn't find me, but then it turned out that it wasn't her I should have worried about.

**AN- Damn that was a long chapter for me. Not completely happy with it but I may come back and edit it later. If I do it will probably become longer and split into to.**

**AN-I have another slow change story that is definitely Bellice and starts pre twilight. I have been stuck on it for a couple of months but there are four chapters, a prologue and three from Bella's pov. I prefer that story to this but as I said I am stuck at the moment on Alice's Pov. I can post it if you want and you can let me know what you think.**

**AN-Sorry I have decided this is not going to be Bellice still not sure on Kate or Tanya, but we will see. I also want to know , shall I form a new coven with Bella? Either way it won't really matter either way.**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN- Twilight and the characters are owned by Stephanie Meyer, I don't own anything**.

**AN- Ok just trying something a little different here. As this chapter is concerned more with one day, I have decided to do it as a flashback. If you want to see more flask back then let me know. I will not be dispensing with the journal completely though. I am currently thinking journal for periods of time interspaced with flashback for important events or conversations that take place in the past.**

**AN-**_Italic is flashback_**, Bold will be present day, **and normal will be Journal**. If I make a mistake in these rules then let me know and I will edit it. **

…

_I didn't rush as I walked through the trees on what I believed to be my last walk. I enjoyed the sense of peace and acceptance that had come over me. I contemplated how long I would have to wait for her to find me. I knew there were easier ways for me to kill myself, but if my sacrifice meant that those I loved would be safe then I would gladly accept the pain that was coming. I knew that Victoria would want to cause me immense pain, but if I played on her blood lust then she may end it quickly. Consequently I had my Dads hunting knife attached to my belt, when she found me I would just use it to cut myself as deeply as I could, then hopefully she would feed on me rather than torture me. It was obvious that she may take a while to locate me, so I had some water snacks and books to read. This way I could enjoy my last few hours or days in the meadow, doing the things I enjoyed_

_It was dim in amongst the trees, because of the time of the year the sun was not getting much light through the canopy above me. I had left as soon as my father had left for work and my pace meant it would take a few hours for me to reach the meadow. I just ambled through the twilight like darkness listening to my iPod and humming to myself. I stepped through the last of the trees into the brightness of the meadow at approximately mid-day. I stopped briefly adjusting to the surroundings, glad I had finally arrived. I then glanced around looking for a suitable place to sit. Finally I settled on the centre of the meadow and walked in that direction. I continued humming to myself as I casually moved forwards. As I arrived at what I deemed the centre a very familiar figure stepped out of the trees opposite me. _

_I was shocked to say the least; the last person I expected to find me here was Edward. I must have stared in misbelief for a couple of minutes before I removed my head phones. To speak to him._

"_Edward." I whispered feeling hope for the first time in days. "What are you doing here, are the others with you?" He moved towards me with that stupid smirk on his face._

"_No Bella, the others are not here, it's only me." He replied._

"_Why are you here then?" I think I already knew but I still had to ask._

"_For you Bella, I have come to get what is rightfully mine." He smirked at me and I looked around with a sinking feeling._

"_You're here to kill me aren't you?" I spoke with a full understanding of his previous actions finally rushing through my brain._

"_Of course I am Bella, your blood was meant for me and me alone."_

"_So why didn't you kill me before. You had your chances." I growled out at him._

"_Well I couldn't, not that first day because we were in school and it would have exposed us, then after that my family would have stepped in to stop me, like they did when I sucked out the venom after James had bit you." He explained._

"_So now you can because they no longer care and have left me." I hissed at him. "I was just a pet to you all wasn't I, a toy to play with and discard."_

"_Don't be silly, they love you. That's how and why I got them to leave. Thankfully Jasper gave me a reason to, although at first he was trying to protect you." He told me smirking and puffing up in self-importance._

"_Huh, what are you talking about?" I had a glimmer of new hope building in my heart. "You said that they all left because they were bored with me." It suddenly struck me that if what he was saying was true then Alice would see this and come to my rescue. Of course he could be lying and there was no help coming._

"_Oh Bella, Bella you are so gullible. I soon realised after we all met you that my family loved you more than any human that we had ever met before. It was plainly obvious that I would have to be careful around you and plan accordingly if I ever wanted to have your blood. Especially after Alice saw you as a vampire. So I planned and waited. I thought the incident with James would give me the chance but the fight with him took too long and they arrived." Oh here we go the cheap B move super villain speech, I thought to myself. I glanced around and started to take slow steps away from him but he just followed on continuing his speech._

"_I had to wait after that because of the blood transfusion taking away your scent. So I left and went hunting out of state, I do this every now and then picking out sinners and criminals, to feast upon. I have it down to a fine art. As long as I gorge myself on Animals for at least as long as I feed on humans. My eyes are nearly always back to gold before I return home. How Alice never saw I don't know but it was never in her mind and she never said anything, I will have to ask her later before I kill her." _

"_Why are you going to kill Alice? " _

"_She will come when she sees this in a vision, she will try and kill me when she gets here and you are dead. This is the only reason I am explaining this to you, so she will come to save you, she will be late though."_

"_I thought that you didn't want to feed on humans because that made you a monster?" I asked trying to delay him more._

"_Oh no I love to feed on humans. However it is a lonely life and I rather like the company that having a family has, so I sacrifice for them because having me around is important after all I am special." Actually insane is more appropriate. "It makes their lives mean something. Stop moving Bella; you are not going to get away from me. Now where was I?"_

"_You had left because of my scent." I helpfully supplied._

"_Oh yes. When I returned I noticed the difference in you and the perverted glances towards my sisters. That's when I realised you were a reward, not only were you a sinner but you blood smelled and tasted wonderful. It wasn't quite as strong as before, but still better than anyone else's. Still how to get it without that little bitch Alice interfering. When I heard Jasper's thoughts when you got that paper cut it just came to me. He felt all our blood lust, so I threw you into that table and picture hoping to cut you even more and it worked. Quick and brilliant thinking on my part if I must say myself. Don't you agree?"_

"_If you say so Edward." _

"_Anyway that caused him to alter his course from me to you. Then as usual my family stepped in to protect you. This whole incident gave me a reason to get them to leave for your protection. They all argued against it, well except Rose, but as your mate" My god did he just use air quotes. "I had the final decision."_

"_So why didn't you just kill me in the forest or come back before this."_

"_Alice." He simply answered. "Alice has always kept an eye on you, now I know ways around this but if you had suddenly disappeared, then they would know and it would have put my position as a Cullen untenable. I would have to kill Alice and then Jasper. Esme would never forgive me."_

"_So why now?" his reasoning was warped but sound._

"_Well Alice has left the Cullen's after Jasper found his mate." He explained._

"_WHAT!" _

"_Yes, I know surprising isn't it? Apparently they were on their way back to Alaska after visiting Peter and Charlotte. They stopped off in Seattle to see our contact there and run across a new born. I believe her name is Bree, apparently Alice immediately saw them together as mates. They took her to our home in Alaska and well to cut a long story short Alice left. So if she comes to your rescue now then I can kill her and no one will notice she is missing."_

"_I thought Jasper was her mate." I said in bewilderment._

"_Yes they had us all fooled and I am a mind reader. Apparently they were just really close but knew they were never mates. Well that is what Rose told me. I am tired of this and really cannot wait any longer." He blurred towards me but somehow I managed to step aside and crouch in a defensive posture. When I heard something strange. __**'How did she do that she moved so fast, she's human she shouldn't be able to do that.' **__This was immediately followed by a blinding pain between my eyes that made me fall to my knees. This gave Edward the opportunity to grab me by the back of the neck. He pulled up towards him tilting my head to the side._

"_I would say I am sorry Bella, but I am no…." his head turned to the side, eyes wide in disbelieve. "How did she get here so quick." I caught a glimpse of two figures streaking across the clearing as I was thrown bodily through the air by Edward._

"_BELLA!" I heard Alice's voice screaming as I crashed into a tree about a hundred yards from where I had been. I laid there for a few seconds contemplating, why I was still breathing. My vision was hazy and I was slightly winded but still breathing. Then I became aware I could still move and that I didn't seem to have any broken bones. Odd I thought and Edward flung me by my neck. Surely that would break it. I sat up grimacing. Well I have bruises so that's something I thought. I glanced over the hissing and snarling that and loud crashes that were reverberating around the clearing. Three figures were in combat. Two of these I knew. The third I couldn't get much of a look at but it was definitely a blond female. Eventually Edward broke free and sprinted into the forest followed by the blond. The third Alice was suddenly standing in front of me._

"_Oh Bella." She sighed out "What were you thinking?"_

"_What do you fucking care?" I spat at her. "You fucking left." She flinched at this._

"_I know you are angry Bella, but I honestly believed him when he said it was for the best. It wasn't until I was on the way here I realised the extent of his treachery." I just scowled at her. "Bella if I had known what he was doing I would not of left, I thought Jasper had attacked you and with your clumsiness I believed I thought it could happen again. I am so sorry" I stared at her contrite face for a few minute before I could resist it no longer. I leapt at her and pulled into a hug burying my face in her neck._

"_This doesn't mean I forgive you. I am still angry." I whispered._

"_I know Bella, but we are going to have words about what you planned to do today." She replied. "Although I am glad you did otherwise we would have been too late we nearly delayed to long as it is."_

"_What are you talking about Alice?"_

"_We drove and it took us eight hours to get here Bella. If you hadn't decided to give yourself to Victoria then we would not have seen Edward till it was too late. Luckily I had a vision of what you were intending to do earlier in the week so was watching. When I saw you entering the clearing and the consequences of that decision last night that we left. If we hadn't of come then Victoria would finally get you this evening." She explained confusing me a little._

"_You didn't see Edward then?" _

"_Not until he decided to come for you about two hours ago. Luckily, Kate was driving. It seems that Edward has a way around my visions. It must have taken him years to develop it because you have to go on instinct, not make any decisions. If you make a decision then I will see it if I am looking out for you at the time."_

"_Oh so you were coming back before Edward." I asked her._

"_I was always coming back Bella, I wasn't planning to arrive for a few days yet because I was visiting my cousins, but I was always coming back."_

"_So why didn't you come earlier." I asked angrily._

"_Bella I had to give Edwards plan a go. Carlisle insisted. If we had known the truth we would have been back earlier. As it is I had already decided to return after I left the Cullen's."_

"_You're still not forgiven, you know." I started walking towards my back pack that is in the middle of the meadow. "Who was the blond girl?"_

"_Oh that is Tanya Denali, you will like her." Alice had this smug tone to her voice that she only used after she had a vision and knew something we didn't. There was no point asking her what she had seen because usually she would barter this for a shopping trip or just smile knowingly at you. So I ignored her tone._

"_So what are you going to do now?" I questioned her._

"_Well first I am going to carry you home on your back so you can dispose of those letters. Then Tanya and I are going to go to the school to register me. Also she is going to apply for a job there. Then we are going to reopen the Cullen house."_

"_Oh Tanya is going to stay and shouldn't we wait for her here." _

"_Oh I don't think Tanya well go anywhere for a while. When she has calmed down she will find us at your house." Alice had that knowing tone in her voice again. She picked me up and swung me around onto her back. I clasped her waist with my legs as she set of at a brisk pace for a vampire through the forest. Strangely unlike the time I had done this with Edward, I found myself glancing around. Even though I still couldn't quite keep up with the blurring images of trees I could make out they were trees. Before everything was a blur and I found it quite nauseous. This time it was just fascinating. It wasn't long before we arrive at my house. _

"_Bella, shoot in and get rid of those letters. I will wait in the front room. Tanya will be here in 3 minutes and 42 seconds. Your Dad will follow 39 minutes later. Oh and Bella change your clothes and shower. Put on something nice."_

"_Alice, don't start with that already." I whined at her as I walked up the stairs I was still sorting out my clothes when I heard the knock on the door downstairs. I could hear the mumble of voices so I concentrated on them trying to pick out what they were saying._

"…_..she's fine surprisingly nothing but a couple of scrape and bruises. She is upstairs cleaning up now. What about Edward?" Alice was explaining._

"_He got away, but I will catch up with the little bastard eventually." Said the most beautiful voice I had ever heard. Wow she sounds hot I thought to myself. I stopped listening at that point and moved into the bathroom. It didn't take long for me to clean myself up and shower. I soon found myself wandering down the stairs, eager to put a voice to that beautiful voice. When I turned the corner at the bottom of the stairs I was greeted with the most wondrous vision of beauty standing looking nervous on the other side of the room, next to a smirking Alice. She had blond hair that flowed down to her waist, a fin angular face, full red lips and large golden eyes. My mouth just fell open in shock and I became immediately aroused as she glided effortlessly across the room._

"_Hi I am Tanya Denali and I believe I you are my mate." _

**Bella closed her journal at this point and looked out of the window at the Alaskan countryside sighing. Two arms snaked around her shoulders from behind. She leant back into the embrace as a kiss was placed on her cheek.**

"**Finished sweetheart." The voice whispered in her ear before nibbling on her earlobe. **

"**Yeah I don't want to go into my private thoughts about you because they are for us and us alone. I think I have written about all the important stuff for today" I replied as I angled my head to give her more access to my ear and throat. "It's going to hard for him to read, you know how he felt about Edward."**

"**I know but he has to hear it. If he doesn't then he will never accept it and consequently never heal. Same goes for Esme." Tanya replied**

"**I feel bad about causing them pain." I moan as she sucked on a especially sensitive part of my neck.**

"**Let me take your mind of it all. "she huskily replies.**

"**How do you intend to that." **

"**Oh I can come up with a few ideas." She then pulls me into a deep and passionate kiss.**

…

**AN- Let me know.**


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